Dick Cheney

"Let us rid ourselves of the fiction that low oil prices are somehow good for the United States."

- Dick Cheney

Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney served as the 46th Vice President of the United States (2001-2009), under George W. Bush. While in office, Cheney was instrumental in passing several important pieces of federal legislation, such as the Scowl-Smirk Security Act and the War on Everything.

Appearance
Cheney appears to be only a balding, elderly man wearing glasses. In actuality, Cheney is a demonic elemental of Astral Body Chaos. Cheney's true form has never been seen by the human eye, and those who have seen it did not live to tell the story.

Power
Cheney's immense power is limited by his humanoid form. However, his mind and wit are not limited to the slightest. Cheney has planned devastation and destruction to occur, months or even years prior to the actual dilemma. Cheney always plans his attacks so the outcome always rids himself of fault and only benefits him and his allies. A good example is 9/11 terrorist attacks. Cheney had struck a fake deal with Osama Bin Laden. Cheney promised Osama that war between their countries would benefit them both greatly by making them as rich as Aloysius O'Hare, who was the richest man alive at that time. Osama agreed. After the initial terrorist attacks (which Cheney played a key role in), war was instigated. Cheney sat back and watched the money grow. Cheney planned it so that America would deploy in Iraq, eventually leading to both of them becoming filthy rich, and Osama Bin Laden's death.

Truffula Tree Valley Shloppity Shlop Slick
After the fall of the Once-ler, Cheney made an anonymous organization which promised to clean the tar, or "Shloppity Shlop" in the rivers and bodies of water in the Truffula Tree valley. Cheney kept his identity hidden while starting fund raisers. In the end, Cheney did very minimal work and kept 17.3 zillion dollars for himself.

Death
Cheney died in 2034 after a lifelong battle with hemorrhoids. He was posthumously awarded the Richard Nixon Golden Vulture award for "demonstrating courage when faced against the Rule of Law." Per his wishes, Cheney's ashes were scattered along a Gulf of Mexico oil slick.